HomeKlok
by BendingMetal
Summary: Some short stories about what Dethklok does at home, that leads to what we see in the show. It used to be from my other story, 'Dethklok through a Klokateers eyes, but that was getting too hard to write. Slight slash now, but maybe more later.
1. Chapter 1

These first four chapters are from another story I decided I was unhappy with. If you read 'Dethklok through a Klokateer's eyes,' then you will basically already have read these chapters. They just don't have Katrina in them. I am not going to try very hard to capture their unique ways of talking, because right now I am trying to get a feel for what they would say. You can just imagine how they would say it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Metalocalypse.

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It was a lazy day at Mordhaus, and Dethklok was relaxing in the hot tub. "Just think, a million dollars to do whatever the f(guitar riff) you want to." Nathan started. He had seen a special on T.V. about people who won the lottery, mostly because the remote was too far away to change the channel."You could buy whatever you want!" In his own special brand of excitement, he accidentaly dipped the beer bottle in his hand below "I know what I'd do, if I had a million bucksch." Murderface jumped right in as Nathan threw his bottle of water and beer across the room. He grabbed another beer from a wasted Pickles. "I would schtart my own band! I even know what I'd call it." Gesturing in front of him, as if he was seeing the name in lights, he declared, "Planet Pissch." He went all starry-eyed, but his fantasy was interrupted by Skwisgaar. "Pfft, thats is dildos." Before he could say anymore, Murderface erupted, "Oh yeah? Well, maybe I'll just go kill myschelf! Would that be dildosch?" He pulled his knife out of nowhere, and started stabbing the floor outside the hot tub. "Yous already ins a bands. Whys you wants be's in 'nuver bands?" Toki asked, confused. He looked at Skwisgaar for an explanation, who merely started plucking the strings of his guitar. "Well, if you're scho schmart, why don't you tell usch what you would do with a million bucksch!" Murderface yelled, angry that no one really cared about his idea. "I woulds buy a turtles." Toki stated very matter-of-factly. "Um, Toki, sorry to break it to you, but turtles are just not very metal." Nathan said after taking a deep swing from his beer. "They ares toos. Theys are the onlys animalas that carries theirs homes with thems wherevers theys goes. Theys moves so slows, theys easy preys. Theys evens bites ifs theys mads." Toki defended his would-be pets, and Nathan answered after a little consideration. "Whoa, I guess they are pretty brutal after all. Maybe I'll get one too…" He trailed off and pulled out his ever-present tape recorder. "Song idea, turtle bursts out of shell, massacres everyone…has machine gun," he mumbled into it. The other band members ignored him, and Pickles grew aware enough of his surroundings to say something. "Dood, are we talking about what we'd do with a million dollars? I know what I'd do! I'd tour the world!" Just as the other guys were going to shoot down this idea, he continued. "Yeah, dood, I would try the different boozes all over the world!" He downed a full beer in one breath, before passing out.

A Klokateer took out of the hot tub, and made sure he was still alive. The other members didn't react to this, seeing as how it was a daily occurrence, and continued talking. "Well, ifs I hads a millions dollar, I would buys a strip clubs, which hases the old ladies." He looked dreamily up, until he noticed Toki had dozed off next to him, and his head was sinking forward into the water. "Heys, Toki, wakings ups now, it is nots nightie-nightie time." He nudged the Norwegian, but he didnt move. "Well, if I had a million dollars, I would buy my own country." Nathan paused for a moment after saying this, to let it sink in. "I would call it Explosion Nation. I would be able to do whatever the f(guitar riff) I wanted in it, and I would place strip clubs, and bars, and casinos, and I wouldn't have to pay s(guitar riff). It would all be free, but only for me. Everyone else would have to pay. Even you ass(guitar riff)." After a few seconds of silence, the members agreed that is what they would want. "I would let beautiful ladiesch in for free, but only if they..." Murderface trailed off, making suggestive grunts. "Did me a favor." He explained, and Pickles started giggling. "I don't think they would want ta go in Murderface." He said, earning a grin from Nathan. "They might do it, just so he would leave them alone." He added, ganging up on his bassist. "Hey, f(guitar riff) you guys! I'm outta here." Murderface clambered out of the hot tub, and everyone averted their eyes as he did so. Nobody wanted to go to bed with that image in their head. Murderface stalked off, and Skwisgaar sighed. "I better gets little babie kiddies to beds toos, odderwise he mights drowns." He pulled off his guitar, setting it carefully on a black towel laid out just for that reason. After getting out himself, he snapped in Toki's ear. "Hey, hello, little babie kiddies, it is times to go to the hays, to hit the beds!" Even though he mixed up the phrases, Toki's head snapped up. "Huhs, whats?" He asked groggily, looking up at the wet guitarist. "Oh, Skwisgaar, I hads de dreamings about yous." Skwisgaar crossed his arms over his bare chest, smirking. "I donts cares if yous dreamimgs abouts mes, because I dont cares abouts yous. Now, off to bed, little babie kiddie." Nathan looked away from the squabbling guitarists, to see Pickles had sunk into the hot tub. He grabbed a handfull of bright red dreadlocks, yanking the drummer's head out of the water. "Hey, uh, Pickles, everyone is going to bed. I think maybe its time we left too." It sounded suggestive, but neither one of them noticed. Pickles mumbled something, and crawled out of the hot tub, staggering towards his room. Skwisgaar and Toki had reverted to their native languages, but as far as Nathan could tell, neither one of them were angry. As he was dragging his ass out of the tub, Skwisgaar sighed. "Fine, little Tokis." Was all he said, reaching a hand down to Toki. The brunette grabbed it, and Skwisgaar helped him out of the tub. Nathan thought it was a little creepy how the two didn't even seem unsettled, even though they were both naked. Pushing this from his mind, passing it off as some people weren't homophobic, he exited through one door while the other two left out of another door. Eventually, they all made it back to their own bedrooms.

Elsewhere, Charles Ofdensen watched several monitors with one eye. He was relaxing in his room, unable to fall asleep. He watched, somewhat amused, as the Klokateers cleaned up after the boys. He watched as a Klokateer tried to take the knife out of a sleeping Murderface's hand so he wouldn't hurt himself, and getting his hand cut off. He watched as another removed the empty beer bottles and other drug leftovers from Pickle's bed, and watched, maybe for a bit too long, as the drummer dozed. Next, he watched as a Klokateer turned off Nathan's tape recorder and set it next to his clothes for tomorrow. This was another moment when he watched slightly unprofessional. His attention was captured as Toki slipped into his own room, with a Klokateer following to turn on Toki's nightlight and tuck him in. On the next monitor, he watched as one Klokateer had to to ensure that Skwisgaar's room was cleared of any GMILFs, and that he was asleep. Curiously, he also showed up late to his bedroom, and took a shower before going to bed alone. Charles sighed, feeling content that, for right now, his boys were all safe and asleep. As he studied their sleeping forms, he felt a sense of pride that he managed to bring them all together, to form the most powerful group in the world. It wasn't long until sleep came to him too, and he switched off the monitors, falling back into his pillows.

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There you have it. I am feeling much better about this right now. Please review so I know if you feel the same. :P


	2. Chapter 2

Just a reminder, if you are reading my other story, Dethklok through a Klokateer's eyes, this chapter will be exactly the same, except without Katrina.

I decided that, because the new season is airing this weekend, I needed to update this story.

Disclaimer: Don't own Dethklok or Metalocalypse.

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The boys were sitting around the dining/conference table. Ofdensen was standing at the head of the table, and was trying his very best to get them to focus. "Well, boys, I know you are all hung-over, but we still need to focus on your next album. The release date is coming up and…" He was interrupted by Pickles. "Dood, are you freakin' serious right now? It is way too early to talk business and stuff!" He paused, but before anyone could register what he just said, he continued. "At least, not without some beer to make the hangover go away!" He downed a beer in one gulp, and slammed it down on the table. "Alright, fire away, big man." He drank another beer as Ofdensen spoke. "Alright, well, thank you, Pickles. Anyway…" He was interrupted this time by Murderface, who thrust his knife into the table, barely missing his plate of meat, and spoke. "We would have the album done, if Schomeone would just schtop being schuch a dick about our schongs." He directed a glare at Nathan, who just ignored him. He seemed too hung-over to really care about what anyone said. "I don'ts sees what's is so bads about these meeting." Toki said cheerfully, taking a break from shoving colorful cereal in his mouth. "Theys fun." Skwisgaar groaned, and answered, "Tokis, is too earlies. Just lets manager mans talks." Toki, who was the only one who had eaten any of his food, turned to the plate of waffles next to him. Murderface stabbed his food repeatedly, and the others had just played with the gourmet breakfast prepared personally for them. Charles surveyed them, realizing he wouldn't get anywhere with them in their current state, and sighed. "We can continue this another time. Go ahead and uh, go back to bed or something." He said, and left the room. It didn't bother him that the boys didn't care about the business aspect of the band, but he felt he should still try to make an effort.

Dethklok took their manager's advice, and wandered out of the room. Toki went into the main room, the one with the huge TV and various video games. He turned on the cartoons, which had been turned very metal and brutal, and sat down, mesmerized by the cartoon violence. Skwisgaar was the next band member to show up, never being far away from Toki. He started playing his guitar, even though it wasn't plugged into an amp, and seemed to disappear into his own world. Skwisgaar considered making fun of Toki for watching the baby's shows, but decided that he was too tired and he hurt too much to say anything. Next to show up, was Murderface, with three Klokateers following him nervously. He was muttering something about how his head hurt so bad, he just had to kill something. They were trying to get his knives away from him, so he wouldn't kill the rest of Dethklok. "Ah, f(guitar riff) you!" He shouted as they made another attempt to grab them. Murderface stabbed one of the Klokateers in the chest, killing him instantly. As he slumped over, the knife was pulled out of the angry, hung-over bass player's hand. He stumbled over to the TV, shoving Toki out of the way so he could control the foot remote. "Why would anyone watch this s(guitar riff)?" He quickly changed it to an all-civil war channel, dedicated to his interest. Toki sighed, but didn't fight with Murderface. Instead, he left the room, probably to go build another model. Skwisgaar also left, just as Nathan walked in. He looked around the room, noticing Pickles wasn't there. Feeling a strange sense of responsibility, he went to go find Ofdensen, who wasn't hung over and who could think clearly.

Ofdensen was filing some paperwork in his office, when Nathan entered the room. "Hey, uh, we can't find Pickles." He said, not beating around the bush. "You should probably find him." Charles pressed a button under his desk, and a huge TV came out of the ceiling in front of him. Nathan stepped in front of the TV, impressed. Charles quickly scanned all the rooms Pickles could be in, but found no trace of him, not even a beer bottle. Realizing just how bad this could be, he called several Klokateers into his room. "I want you to gather the boys and meet in the living room." He quickly said, and started there himself. "Wait, what is going on?" Nathan asked, a few minutes behind. "We have to go Across the room, Murderface's bodyguard reacted, placing his hand by his ear as she spoke. "A member of Dethklok has been lost. Within minutes, the four rock gods whose positions were known, were grumbling in the room.

"You, check the surveillance recordings for his last known position." "We have to keep Dethklok here together, until we can determine this isn't a kidnapping." "Hey, someone better tell us what the f(guitar riff) is going on." Nathan growled. "Pickles has disappeared. Until we know if it is a kidnapping or if he managed to wander away." The other members grumbled, and Skwisgaar complained, "Pickle was nots kidnaps. He probabablys justs drunks somewheres." we have discovered that Pickles managed to slip away and find his way to the garage. He was, quite drunk." He explained. "He took one of Lord Murderface's limos, and drove off." "What!" Murderface interrupted. "He took one of my limosch? I'm going to kill that m(guitar riff)f(guitar riff)!" Ofdensen didn't even sigh in exasperation, even though none of them realized how bad this situation was. "Let's go get him." They were about to leave when Toki spoke up. "Waits, cants we comes with yous?" They took the train car, going the direction they thought Pickles might have gone. looking for whatever might have caught the drunken drummer's short attention span. The answer became clear once they passed a sign advertising a carnival. They immediately turned there, and in second had crashed through the parking lot, leaving a line of carnage behind them. Ignoring the flaming cars and bloody people behind them, they made their way into the carnival, followed closely by Dethklok, who were surrounded by a small army of Klokateers.

It didn't take them long to find him, following the gathering crowd of fans. "Whoo hoo!" they heard him yell, and found him riding the Hurricane. His cheering was interrupted as he vomited, and followed by sounds of disgust and delight from the fans. "Whats is this magicals place?" An awed Toki asked from inside the circle of protection. "This place, young Tokis, is a cosnivikals." Skwisgaar informed the Norwegian. Nathan sighed, and said to Murderface, "Pickles better be alright. If he's not, I'm not going to be the one to tell them they are wrong." Murderface almost agreed, while still trying to sound like he didn't care. "Only if I get to call them doucebags." As they reached the exit of the carnival ride, an intoxicated and nauseous Pickles stumbled towards them. "Doods!" He yelled at them. "You should try this!" He vomited on himself, and he slurred, "Doods, this place is awesome! You just haves to try…" The rest of his words became garbled, but he mumbled something about spinning rides that spin. "Oh, cans we, cans we?" Toki asked excitedly. "I guess we could, you know, ride a few of the rides…" Nathan said, and Toki reacted by starting to jump up and down. "Yeas! I wants to goes on that's ones!" He pointed to the merry-go-round, which had a huge line in front of it.

They got in line, waiting as patiently as Dethklok could. After barely a minute, Murderface burst out, "I hate linesch! Thesche people schould juscht get out of our way!" Moments later, an army of Klokateers swarmed around them. One handed her a microphone, and others set up huge speakers. "Attention, all carnival goers. This is a warning, that if you do not clear out of the park within five minutes, we will take action. Anyone left will be immediately executed." They all looked around, confused, until one Klokateer took out a handgun, and shot someone. Scared and confused, they scrambled out of the fair. Exactly five minutes later, the Klokateers opened fire on any stragglers. "Dood, why couldn't you guys get here sooner?" Pickles slurred, and they jumped onto the ride.

They stayed in the amusement park until dark, with Klokateers operating the rides. Only seven died by getting caught in the rides moving parts. The boys were just coming out of the haunted house after going through it fourteen times, and this time it seems that they had hidden around the mannequins and other props. Toki was the first out, looking shaken and upset. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, and had peed his pants. "Aw, come on, dood, it was a joke." Pickles tried to explain as he followed Toki out. Skwisgaar followed, saying, "Yeah Tokis, donts bes a little crybabies abouts it. Wes only tryings to be makings jokes." Murderface added, "yeah, don't be schuch a dick about it." Pickles didn't say anything, just came out quietly giggling to himself.

Some of the Klokateers stepped forward, between the boys and Toki. One of the Klokateers was packing around extra clothes for the boys, mostly so they could change out of puke-stained shirts. They helped him change, shielding him from view. Toki walked out of the circle, glaring at his bandmates. "that was not the funnies." He said, but they still laughed. As it was growing dark, the band head toward the train-car, to go home.


End file.
